6 Evidence-Based Tips for Greater Happiness (Part 1)
Do’s and don’ts related to gratitude and positive thinking that lead to a happier life
I think it’s quite common that people fall into one of two categories as it relates to attempting to living their best lives: they either emphasize trying to decrease suffering OR improve happiness, but less frequently give attention to both ends of the spectrum. In my personal life and in my work with clients I’ve found that working on both strategies (decreasing suffering AND increasing happiness/wellbeing) yields the most results. This idea is certainly not an original one, so I’ll give the necessary nod to the Buddha and to the myriad of research studies that podcast have come to the same conclusion.
With all that in mind, today’s post is about improving happiness, rather than decreasing anxiety, depression, couples conflict, etc. I’ll be exploring two topics that many readers may already feel familiar with but that still deserve some attention: gratitude, and the power of positive thinking. As familiar as those two topics may be, I’m going to present some novel information about both, including some potential bubble-bursting about the unhelpful nature of positive thinking. This post was inspired by a podcast I listened to on NPR with Yale Professor Dr. Laurie Sontos who teaches a course on the science of happiness, which happened to be the most popular course in Yale history when it began.
TIP 1- Be grateful—intentionally and often. Studies have shown that intentionally practicing gratitude daily can improve your quality of life within just a couple of weeks. Gratitude is a rather impressive mind state; it helps us recover from stress, heal from trauma, and improves our relationships. One way to build gratitude into your life is to keep a daily gratitude journal. Simply jot down a few things that you’re grateful for, spending a few moments thinking about each one, and you’re done. Pretty easy.
TIP 2- This one’s a bit of an extension of the first. Another way to build gratitude into your life is to share it with others with a gratitude visit (or skype, zoom, or some other method that allows you to see each other’s faces). A gratitude visit is getting together with someone you care about with the sole purpose of sharing things that you’re grateful for about that person. This might sound a little awkward, but a study on these visits showed that the recipients of the gratitude often found them to be among the most powerful moments in their lives. I was surprised when I read that, too, but that’s the truth. The givers (if we can call them that) of the gratitude also reported feeling notably uplifted from sharing with their loved one.
Next topic: the power of positive thinking. Just like I heard from the host of the podcast I mentioned at the top of the post, I totally grew up hearing that positive thinking alone was some sort of magical elixir that I could employ to defeat just about any hardship. Unfortunately, social scientists have found evidence that refutes that claim. Positive thinking alone, meaning just fantasizing about some sort of wonderful outcome, makes a person LESS likely to achieve their goal. These results were found with goals ranging from losing weight to having successful recoveries from hip surgeries. So if just dreaming about nice things isn’t effective, you might be wondering what is. That brings us to some more tips. These next four tips will break down the acronym WOOP, which takes positive thinking to a whole new (much more helpful) level. I’ll continue with the last four tips in a separate post.
Ben Lotstein, MS, MFTC of North Star Therapy, LLC provides individual and couples therapy in Fort Collins, CO and throughout the state.
